The iconic Captain America was laid to rest this Wednesday after years of faithful service to this great nation. Lost to a snipers bullet, rumors have surfaced that his assassination is part of a grand scheme by the Power Elite to debase our nation of it’s most important heroes -spreading hopelessness and fear throughout the world. Further evidence of this lies in the fact that after 66 years of loyal service, he wasn’t given a single promotion -remaining Captain the entire length of his career.
Members of Team America: World Police are actively pursuing leads connecting the Anime/Manga underworld and the writing staff of The Simpsons to this heinous crime.
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